Today woke up at around 10.30am then met Nerdy at 11am. ~_~
Went to school to watch 12 storeys, 3rd time watching. It was definitely not as exciting as the first but it was definitely refreshing. Eric Khoo's films are always refreshing. Managed to notice some parts of the movie that I've not really placed much attention on. Could see that Nerdy didnt really like it as much as I did but oh well. Different tastes in movies I suppose.
Slept on the bus home, Nerdy was really tired. After that me and Nerdy ate dinner at Pepperlunch, then jubeat.
After that did some blogshop stuff, and I've found 3 confirmed people who are willing to swap items with me ! It's quite an encouraging figure for me. 3 others are unconfirmed. Did some advertising for my blogshop, which is time consuming as always. Anyway hopefully I can swap many egg mouses away..
Tommorow I'm going swimming. :)
~~~~~~~
Goal: To be more assertive.
Something of myself which I found to be quite true, perhaps around 80%.
Each scorpio might go through 3 stages, perhaps multiple times, throughout a lifetime. The stages might not be gone through in order. :)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
First Stage:
A "stage one" Scorpio exercises power through emotion and instinct. This Scorpio is symbolized by the scorpion, an insect more likely, in the end, to sting itself rather than others. Aggression and instinct are particular features of the Scorpion aspect, which is where the tendency to potential destructive behavior and competitiveness resides.
Second Stage:
A "stage two" Scorpio is symbolized by the Golden Eagle and exercises power through the intellect. Golden Eagle Scorpios show signs of maturity above Scorpion Scorpios in that they possess the ability to see what others miss, discern hidden motives, and discover deeper truths beneath the surface of life. This can prove to be either beneficial or exploitative, where while Golden Eagles can indeed use these skills to help invent new medicines, save a patient's life, successfully psychoanalyze the problems of others and help them find purpose, etc., because Scorpios also are known for valuing power and wealth as well, Golden Eagles are nonetheless not above exploiting others to suit their own purposes or interests, and can be used deceptively if not guarded.
Third Stage:
A "stage three" Scorpio is symbolized by the Dove of Peace and the Phoenix, which exercises power through love, healing and transformation. The Phoenix represents a Scorpio who has been transformed, and has reached deep within him/herself to embrace the more subtle, mystical qualities of the soul, rather than ones ego, and in result soar to spiritual heights like a bird on the wing. The tendency to be judgmental and power-obsessed is gone, and rather the observational talents of Scorpio are fused with compassion rather than judgment, defeating a life of extremes and polarities and finding greater purpose through self-spiritual development.
Credits to: http://scorpios.tribe.net/thread/98b27bb9-ba00-4320-8a74-ed25a692477b
Isnt this school bag lovely ?
I have to purchase a new one because my school bag, current one, is torn and tattered.
Found this on gmarket.
But without discount coupons yet it's $46.60!
One of the most pricey stuff I've bought on gmarket. Usually I will get things at a good bargain. E.g: soft rebonding for $45, etc etc.
And I still fall back on the promise to myself. Regardless of where I am in life, whether I'm popular or a loner, whether I have a part time job or not, regardless of what my exam results are, regardless of whether i'm big or bigger or small, regardless of how I feel about myself or my self esteeem, or what I'm struggling with I will love myself unconditionally - Just because I am I. If I dont love myself, who else will love me?
However, what I dont allow myself is to give up. And I dont mean take a breather, because everyone needs a breather sometimes.
Here I am, updating again. I hope I can update more often.
Blogging is really good for health. <:
So anyway, recently I've been supa busy. I know no one is going to believe that I am, but the fact is that I am super busy. Since it's the holidays after all, and I'm not holding any holiday job currently. With my blogshop and the facebook page, with friends and Nerdy, with many things I want to fufill in my holidays, with 2 upcoming camps, cooking w M, etc etc.
Above all the activities I have in my life, I've been having really bad tension headaches, like everyday. My mum is really worried for me. I hope to get well soon. My health is poor these days. (sigh)
I need a breather. I really do.
Perhaps somewhere(could be anywhere) where I can be myself, where I dont need to worry about things, where all there is is just music and laughter and peace.
Apologize for the lack of updates.
Just came back from Vietnam. It was a wonderful place and made me learnt alot of things.
From march to august this year, that is around half a year, perhaps I've struggled with finding my self worth in people, in things, in my results. I kept on searching, so much for perfection in my life perhaps, that I guess the more I searched the more I couldnt find myself. Till I was perhaps starting to believe in what the haters are saying and believing about me?
Vietnam did help me find myself. So I am grateful for that.
It makes me believe that though I'm imperfect, I still can face challenges and I'm strong.
Today woke up at 4am just to take a taxi to Changi.
Met Nerdy at the airport and ate with him. Mummy left first.
After that slept all the way, whether or not it's the bus or the airplane ~_~
Had orientation at YMCA vietnam. Then ate lunch. Our table very noisy. Then the lady just kept adding OIL to our steamboat. Omg. It's sucha irony that skinny people, including those from china, consume so much oil in their food, yet their skinny. /:
The noodles were nice !
After that met my roommates. Marielyn and Elaine. Nice roommates so far. :) Talked with them a little before heading out to dinner, where it was not bad.
Vietnam has huge congested traffic. But there's something about this country that is warm. The polite way of talking, the courteous meticulous and patient service, service staff that really wants to serve despite not knowing what we're talking since some of them only can speak vietnamese, and a warm culture. The food's great too but lean, which is why Vietnamese people are so trim and fit.
Tmr is the start of the week, which I'll be doing construction work, then the day after would be teaching english. I've bought nice pencils for them. Hope things can go smoothly. I know if I just brace myself and enjoy myself everything will fall into place together.
 Me, Marielyn, and Elaine (:
I'm off to Vietnam on 11/9/2011, 5am via Jetstar Airways. Bought each Vietnam student a pencil, 80 students in total. Spent a bomb, sponsored by ma and my grannie. Thank you :)
But hor I somehow scared leh, gonna miss Nerdy mummy and my blogshop ):
Though all the insecure feelings, I know I will have some fun there in Vietnam. It might be a choice sometimes though. Feeling that is fun is when you are enjoying yourself.(:
I wonder, who still reads my blog ? <:
It's dead quiet. I can really hear the silence, not literally of course. LOL. I would wish to update often but then again there's not enough inspiration, and perhaps motivation to write it ?
Nevertheless, I am here blogging anyway, not out of habit, just that I got many things to say.
3.15pm gotta go running to Jurong East MRT as I gotta meet a customer. <: Gosh. It's running late.
Today was Vietnam briefing, managed to talk to some people who are going to Vietnam to become volunteers too. It made me feel more at ease. I'm in Welfare and Logistics team. Nice bunch of 6 pleasant people, a mixture of girls and guys, I would say <:
Yeap, and I feel less nervous going Vietnam now. /:
We got our red Vietnam t-shirts. It was rlly nice material and I like it ! Good job Alex. Wish I had been more help though.
After that ate lunch(Creamy mushroom and ham pasta, 6/10) and watched an Eric Khoo film to kill time. It's called "Be With Me"
It's 3.08pm already. :/
It's about different Singaporeans. Extraordinary ones.
This is how a relationship, once so sweet, has turned sour.
By boredom, impatience, different opinions, possessiveness.
It used to be a peaceful and loving relationship, from my memory.
You used to be so talkative, and I would just be amazed at how much general knowledge you know. I would just sit and listen to you, in amazement. At the earlier stages you made me feel that I was the happiest and the prettiest girl alive.
Then things started getting hectic. We saw each other less and less and it made me feel lonely. I was going through alot, especially mid 2011 and circumstances on my side didnt help. I felt it quite a chore to juggle cca, school, friends, and him. Thinking back, I was constantly giving myself unnecessary stress, that could be managed better if I ever met such a circumstance in future. I kept all my emotions to myself.
Then when I was finally sober, I realised how much things I have kept to myself. I realised how tall the walls are built between my heart and others. I dont believe in blaming myself for these walls though - But I do believe in letting things go, in slowly but surely forgetting everything.
We've become more possessive. BOTH of us.
I started feeling taken for granted, for the things that I've done. The more I reflected, the more I found this issue reciprocal. I also sometimes, am guilty of taking him for granted.
Fix it?
I'm really tired. I need to fix me first.
A song, for anyone who is so tired of coping with everyday life.
And just wants someone to help lift all their burdens :)
Did you know that the people that seem the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know that the people who exhibit the most kindness are usually the first to get mistreated? Did you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones that need it the most? Did you know the three hardest things to say are "I love you" "I'm sorry" and "Help me"?
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